Adam Lyon and Jake Spidermonkey are in the CDMS-library working on reports for one of their classes. While Jake is reading one book, he begins laughing hysterically, and Adam's curious why Jake is laughing so much. Jake hands the book over to his best friend, and it turns out the book is someone's diary, and the author wrote a bunch of mushy love poems.
It turns out that the diary belongs to Mr. Hornbill, and Jake had taken the book when both he and Mr. Hornbill were using the bathroom. It's revealed that Mr. Hornbill has a crush on Mrs. Tusk, the CDMS-lunch lady, and Adam and Jake help him to win Mrs. Tusk's love (after he threatens to give them detention). The boys and Mr. Hornbill use a book on animal mating rituals to help their teacher.
Their first attempt is having Mr. Hornbill perform a mating dance to impress Mrs. Tusk, with Jake pretending to be Mrs. Tusk for practice. Mr. Hornbill proves to be a really clumsy dancer, and Adam ends up accidentally attracting Joanie, Margaret and Latanya, and Mrs. Tusk ends up driving over Mr. Hornbill in the school parking lot. The second attempt is giving Mrs. Tusk a present, which gives Mr. Hornbill the idea of giving Mrs. Tusk a "rhino pie," which she's disgusted with and rejects the present. Both Mr. Hornbill and Jake start crying over Mrs. Tusk's rejection.
Windsor Gorilla comes by and sees this, and Adam explains about what's been happening with Mr. Hornbill's crush on Mrs. Tusk. Windsor claims that he'd personally try the direct approach, but also says that when it comes to choosing mates for gorillas, males have been known to fight one another as a way of showing off their strength in order to impress females. Since there's no other adult rhinoceros at the school, Mr. Hornbill fights Principal Pixiefrog (the school's "alpha male"), but rather pathetically loses the fight (despite Principal Pixiefrog being only eight ounces while Mr. Hornbill is at least one ton).
The trio's final attempt to get Mrs. Tusk to like Mr. Hornbill is locking them in a room together---inevitably, something is bound to happen. Mrs. Tusk figures out what Mr. Hornbill has been trying to do for the duration of the episode, and admits that she's flattered that he has a crush on her, but explains that it was unnecessary, as she, like most elephants, prefer the direct approach. So Mr. Hornbill asks her out on a date, but Mrs. Tusk turns him down, explaining that she's married (which he, Adam and Jake didn't realize despite the fact that she had "Mrs." in her name).
Adam and Jake seem somewhat surprised that Mrs. Tusk is already married, and it's revealed that Jake had eaten Mr. Hornbill's "rhino pie" (this time topped with whipped cream).
- Mrs. Tusk's first name is Eugenia. Also, her husband is mentioned, but is never actually seen in the series.
- Mr. Hornbill's first name is "Cyrus" and his middle name is starts with "Q," but it's never revealed what his middle name is.
- When Adam, Jake and Mr. Hornbill were contemplating what kind of present Mr. Hornbill should give to Mrs. Tusk, Jake asked Adam what kind of presents Mr. Lyon would give to Mrs. Lyon. Adam explains that with humans, romantic gifts are often things like flowers and candy.