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Poop Scoop
Season 2, Episode 9
Poop Coop
Episode guide
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Nice Mustache
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Leaf of Absence
Poop Scoop is the ninth episode of season two.

SynopsisEdit

Adam joins the school newspaper club.

PlotEdit

TBA

CharactersEdit

QuotesEdit

[Adam and the pack word hard and race against the clock to print the school's daily newspapers on time]
Jake: Alright people, look alive! We've got hot papers off the presses here!
[Jake takes the newspapers into the bathroom and poops]
Jake: [relaxed] Ahhhhh ...
Adam: Jake!. We don't have time for a bathroom break. Our readers are waiting.
[The others look at him in puzzlement]
Slips: Readers?
Lupe: What are you talkin' 'bout, fool?
Windsor: It's common knowledge that nobody actually reads the school paper, Adam.
Adam: What? Then why do we print so many copies every week?
Windsor: Newspapers are the least expensive way of cleaning up after our ... various messes.
[Jake flushes the toilet and exits the bathroom]

Adam: I'll bet we could get advertising revenue up if we ... oh, I don't know ... wrote some news articles or something?
Jake: Why would we go that? We get all the news we need from the magic box.
[Jake turns on the TV and everyone becomes hypnotized by it]
Group: Magic box.

[Adam reads a blind item about an anonymous student having a crush on an anonymous teacher]
Adam: Love in the lunchroom? What human student at Charles Darwin Middle School is sweet on a certain, comely, elephant-like lunch lady? We'll never tell, but according to his best friend, Jacob P. Spidermonkey, this human student is smitten.
Jake: You were right, Adam. People are interested in hard hitting news.
Adam: Jake! "Human student"? "Elephant-like lunch lady"? You're clearly saying that I have a crush on Mrs. Tusk!
[Jake takes out a pen and paper and starts writing]
Jake: No I'm not, but you just did. And I quote "Something, something, something, blah, blah, blah, and then, oh yeah, I have a crush on Mrs. Tusk!"

Adam: Mr. Mandrill, you gotta put a stop to this. Everyone thinks I have a crush on Mrs. Tusk.
Mr. Mandrill: What? This blind item's about you?

Ingrid: Earth Signs: This is your lucky month. Mercury is in retrograde, which according to the stars, means a certain human student at Charles Darwin Middle School must have a crush on you.

Jake: Hey, Adam, is "engaged" spelled with one "g" or four?

Adam: Jake! You gotta stop making up stories about me!
Jake: [shocked] You mean this blind item's about you?

Jake: Context is relative in journalism, Adam. Everyone knows that.
Adam: What's that supposed to mean?
Jake: I don't know, but it sounded pretty smart though, huh?

Ingrid: It's one thing to make up stuff that isn't true, Adam.
Lupe: Si, but it's wrong when you make up stuff that turns out to really be true.

TriviaEdit

  • It's learned that the pack participates in a school newspaper printing club every week.
  • It's also learned that the school has a locally televised news channel, called the CDMS News, run by Henry Armadillo.
  • It's revealed that Jake's full name is "Jacob P. Spidermonkey".
  • We learn that Jake Spidermonkey has buttcheek implants.
  • Mr. Mandrill quoted "Principal Pixiefrog's whole identity is wrapped up in lawsuit avoidance. It's his raison d'etre." "Raison d'etre" is French for "reason for being".
  • Mrs. Tusk was apparently interested in Adam's crush on her, despite claiming to be married in "Two Tons of Fun" and being disgusted by Mr. Hornbill's crush on her.

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