Guano in 60 Seconds
Season 1, Episode 22
Guano in 60 Secomds
Episode guide
Political Animals
Bubble or Nothing
Guano in 60 Seconds is the twenty second episode of season one.


When Jake eats bat droppings from the ceiling (which he confuses for asbestos), Principal Pixiefrog closes the school and forces everyone to move into a portable classroom.




Major RolesEdit

Minor RolesEdit


(Jake engorges on a popcorn bucket full of bat guano)
Windsor: I would not continue consuming that if I were you.
Jake: Why? What could possibly be so bad about it?
Windsor: Well, for one thing, it's bat droppings.
(Jake pauses in shock and disgust, and then spews the guano out)
Pixiefrog: Another peaceful, problem-free day at Charles Darwin Middle School.
(The guano hurls through the air)
Pixiefrog: It's days like these that make you just wanna take a deep breath.
(The guano lands on Principal Pixiefrog)

Jake: So that stuff I ate was toxic? Is that bad?

(Jake experiences a heat flash)
Jake: Man, is it hot in here, or is it me ... oh no ... it's me!

Adam: This is all your fault, Jake!
Jake: My fault? I'm the victim here!
Adam: You broke the parking brake!
Jake: Sure, but who invented the parking brake? Could it be ... YOU!?

(Miss Loon sees the artwork of her students)
Miss Loon: Oh, please. Is that the best you can do? I've seen better art at flea markets.

(Adam and Jake fall off a cliff, while Jake reads the pamphlet of symptoms)
Jake: Symptom four, a sense of falling. Huh, don't seem to have that one.


  • The title is a pun on the 1974 movie, "Gone in 60 Seconds".
  • During art class, The Mona Lisa, Starry Night, and The Portrait of Napoleon are seen.
  • Though it was brief, this is the second episode where Adam and Jake were seen in gym together, the first being "Chew on This".
  • It turns out that Nurse Gazelle thought that Jake had eaten dry rot from the ceiling, and explains that bat guano is perfectly safe for monkeys to eat, as monkeys in the wild eat it all the time.
  • It turns out that Jake can eat bat guano because it is good for him.
  • The symptoms of eating asbestos, according to the pamphlet:
    1. Heat flashes
    2. Severe itching
    3. Laziness
    4. A sense of falling
    5. Gluteal bloating
  • Billboard Gags: "Theater Department presents: Sweeny Toad" and "Grand Re-opening today! Under new management".
  • Credits: We see that the students are overcrowding the portable classroom. Principal Pixiefrog goes up and tells them that the portable classroom is not overcrowded. Then Endugu Elephant's butt hits him.


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